So I get questions about how to discipline children. What I find is that most people confuse the word discipline with punishment.
Punishment works in the short term, it stops the behavior right now. It does not prevent the behavior in the future. Case in point, going to prison. What are the prisons full of? People who keep coming back. People who will never tell you they were raised and surrounded by love, compassion, and understanding.
Furthermore, everything science tells us about punishment says it is inferior to positive reinforcement. Reinforcement, whether it is positive or negative, is certain to increase the behavior that you do want (+) or that you don't want (-).
I love the work of Byron Katie. The work of inquiry of asking ourselves and the people around us empowers us and them.
I love the work of the Nurturing Parenting Program. No person incarcerated has ever shared with me, I grew up being nurtured (spoiled). As if spoiling equals nurturing. Spoiling is not about nurturing. Spoiling is about living without boundaries. I love the work of self-compassion by Dr. Neff http://self-compassion.org/. I love the work of Dr. Brown the Parenting Manifesto http://brenebrown.com/
Children are smaller than us. We as adults are obligated to do our very best, to protect, guide and raise our children with respect, not less responsibility, more responsibility. We are not to be the enemy of children. We do not own our children they are not our property to do as we, please.
Enjoy this video of a little boy reading Byron Katie's book Tiger, Tiger is it so? In Grandma's Reading Room. Books I endorse! Grandma's Reading room!