Monday, February 4, 2013

It's that time of year! Money, money, money!

It is that time of year when the overspending from the Holidays is hitting most people. It hits most people because these purchases were made by debting on credit cards rather than strictly cash transactions. Definition of Debt, click here.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debt





The average American makes $42K and is in debt by $16K. In other words 38% of their income is obligated to their debt. Not fun! Not fun at all to work a 40 hour week knowing that 38% of the work is already obligated to someone else. .http://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/2012/04/26/the-myth-of-good-debt

Why is this important to families?
It is important because our children are watching our every move. They study us like a researcher studies their subjects. They learn from us by our behavior as modeling is the highest form of parenting. It is important because often debt creates stress. When parents are so focused on their debt they are neither focused on their own well being or that of their children.


In my own childhood all I truly remember about Christmas is the fighting that began Christmas afternoon when things had settled down. Why were the parents fighting? Because the reality of how they had over spent had begun to hit them and now it was reckoning time. Seriously, I don't remember even one of those Christmas presents. Not one!

Having debt seems to impact families just as significantly as if their were an alcoholic in the family. The shame, the humiliation, the emotional neglect. Why is this? Because all of the energy becomes focused on the money. The lack of money. The obsession about getting money. Working to make more money. And because the debt takes up so much of the income it creates DEPRIVATION. So much so that it seems like there is never enough money. The obsession itself creates a sense of deprivation. The obsession over rides any sense of true reality and just like any other addiction, gaining MORE money is the game. Only thing is, just like any addiction, it takes more and more and more and enough is never enough! There is no satiation or satisfaction to gaining more money. And we haven't even begun to talk about the illusion of having money. The illusion of the Rich versus the reality of the wealthy. For that one read up on the differences between being rich and being wealthy in this book. You will be surprised! I know I was surprised! http://astore.amazon.com/lifsjouagrass-20/detail/0671015206 

Well anyone knows me knows that I am all about how this impacts the family because it is always the children who suffer the most. ALWAYS! How does this affect the children? Children need peace and calm in order for them to grow up into adults who believe that they can create a life around and under them that is safe and secure. Growing up in a home that was not financially secure, I can tell you that I have spent most of my adult life working through this issue. Here are some of the tools that have supported me in my emotional and financial growth. I have learned to separate my self worth from the amount of money I have or don't have and for me this is the definition of financial independence.

Here are two of the resources that I have found the most helpful.
http://debtorsanonymous.org where I discovered that the money cannot fill the inner spiritual void and that deprivation is a state of mind created by a lack of gratitude and appreciation for the reality of all that is in my life that money cannot buy.

And
http://youneedabudget.com 
The most amazing program on the market that provides free tutorials and money management strategies that allow in the most humane way for mistakes and corrections of those mistakes in handling my money. This application provides support through blogs, classes and online free tutorials to learn what most of us did not learn about money growing up. How to make our dollars work for us so we can make a life rather than just earning a living! Check it out as it has a free 30 day trial offer and downloads to your PC and all your other electronic devices. What I love most about this is that I can stand at the check out counter and enter in my total purchase and it updates me in real time as to how much I have left in my spending category. The only thing I would change about this amazing program is I would have called it, You need a spending plan rather than you need a budget. Mostly because I have learned that when I fail to plan, I plan to fail. Now I plan to succeed! 

The supportive readings that have supported me in my understanding of money and how to handle money are also included in this store page.
http://astore.amazon.com/lifsjouagrass-20?_encoding=UTF8&node=9