Dear Kay,
I have 3 children, 13-year old daughter, 4 year-old son, and 2-month old son. The youngest doesn't have a room yet and is sleeping in a bassinet in our room. The problem is our 4-year old. He had been in a habit of laying in our bed until going to sleep and then being carried into his bed. About 5 months ago (while dad was out of town), I changed the sleeping routine and he started
going to sleep in his own bed after laying with me for a couple of
minutes.
Just recently, though, he has completely thrown all of that
aside. When I leave his bed, he completely loses control - crying
(until he throws up usually), wanting a drink, needing to go to the
bathroom, asking questions, wanting to give another hug and kiss, etc.
This usually lasts for 1 1/2 to 2 hours and he finally goes to sleep.
However, last night he also woke up at 3:45 and decided to re-enact the
entire routine until he finally fell asleep.
We don't know what to do.
I suspect that he is jealous that the new baby gets to sleep in our
room and he doesn't but I don't know what to do. We are finishing our
basement to move our daughter downstairs so that the baby can have her
room but things are progressing very slowly.I need to find out how to
handle the situation now.
Robin
Dear Robin:
I can imagine how sleep
deprived you all must be getting. You do however know what is wrong as
you stated, "I suspect that he is jealous that the new baby gets to
sleep in our room and he doesn't but I don't know what to do."
First
go get some books on what happens when a new baby comes home from the
children's section. There are so many books these days for children I am
always surprised when parents don't know to read them. They help little
ones understand what is happening in their world and normalize what
they are feeling. Another type of book to get is books on feelings. This
is a great opportunity to support him in developing a feeling
vocabulary. He needs help in identifying his feelings, expressing them
and accepting them. If you work on these two issues and add in a nightly
massage I think he will be sleeping better in no time.
One last
thing, don't forget to give him a few minutes each day of his own one
on one time with each member of the family. I takes a lot to overcome
sibling rivalry for attention.
He is lucky to have such concerned parents.
M Kay Keller
