Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I caught my parents' having sex! What should I do?

Hi, I'm 17. Last night, around 12a.m. I was ready for bed, when I heard noises coming from my parents' room. I quickly opened the door and turned on the light and caught them having sex. I understand that wives and husbands have a right to express their love for one another this way, and it is normal and natural, however, now whenever I am faced with my parents it is very hard to look them in the eyes, and I feel like a part of my innocence has been stolen. I'm afraid of sex, and don't like talking about it. I tried talking to them, but they told me to forget about it. How can I deal with this without feeling ashamed? What do I do around my parents? Thanks for your time.


Dear Melody:

You are 17 and having a hard time dealing with your parents having sex. First of all it was after midnight so they are not exactly flaunting in your face. Could you try going to bed earlier so they have some time for intimacy? AND what pray tell are you doing opening their bedroom door when you hear noises coming out of their room? Don't your parents have any privacy? Sweetie they are not doing this to you, you are doing it to yourself. Maybe they don't lock the door because they think you are mature enough to respect their privacy? Possibly?

Next, the feelings of shame? This concerns me as well. Where is the shame coming from?

I know it is hard for children to accept their parents are having sex although I often wonder how children believe they were brought into the world? This is an opportunity to understand your parents are people first, even though they may put their children first. They were people before you were born. Now you know how much they have rearranged their lives to take care of their child.

Maybe if you are still having a hard time with it you should just bring it up to them or seek out a school counselor.

Best Wishes!
M Kay Keller

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