Thursday, January 26, 2012

Worried Grandma

PLEASE help. I have been looking after my grandson since he was six months old. Everything went wonderful until he was two years old and both his parents and myself moved home within weeks of each other. My daughter bought a new house and I moved to be nearer her.

My grandson started to shout 'GO AWAY NANNA' when I visited their house and would not allow me near him. He was normal and loving when he was brought to me.

We have a bigger problem now as my daughter was offered a new job in Scotland and we all moved there from England. Being Scots we loved coming home.

I am living with the family in a large rented house until we both find the right property to buy. My son-in-law is not working yet and is at home all day.

My grandson has started telling me to go away most of the time and tells me to go to my own room (he is now nearly three) This is tearing me apart. He is normal and loving when I take him out on our own.

My daughter will not say anything to him about this as she does not want to put guilt onto him but I am afraid that if we just let it go then he will begin to treat it as normal. It is also upsetting me greatly and I go to my own room and cry. I love him very much.

PLEASE help!

Dear Irene:

I know this is hard on you as you probably feel rejected. I don't think that is what is happening in his mind. He loves you and enjoys being alone with you and he wants to keep it that way.

Sounds more like your family is overly close and he is trying to tell you he needs his alone time with his parents (family).

Most likely he sees your being there an intrusion on his attention from his parents and just wants you to go away until it is time for you and him to have your fun one on one time.

Remember that you are the adult and you will have to understand. My best guess is that you should ignore the behavior as if you didn't notice. Stop taking it personally and just ignore him as well when he acts out. He will get over this phase.

Remember how fortunate you are to be so close to him and focus on your gratitude.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

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