Saturday, January 28, 2012

Suffocation

I am a seventeen year young girl. I get good grades in school, take honors classes, and still manage to earn a 4.0 GPA. I go to church at least twice a week and consider myself to be a devote catholic and I have a problem. My parents are suffocating me.

I’m not allowed to see boys, talk to boys, hangout with boys, go to a boys house, have them come to my house, ride in their car, be in a car with them, like them, have any feelings for them, talk or text them on the phone, be friends, be anything more than a friend.

Also, I can't get my license or a car, because they believe I would disobey the above rules by doing so. I’m no longer allowed to see my best friend because they believe she is a “bad girl.” I don’t know what to do anymore.

In the 8th grade I stopped eating, for almost three months I ate almost nothing. I had to go to the doctor to get medication for acid reflux. I didn’t tell the doctors I wasn’t eating and my parents could not have cared if they tried not eating didn’t work.

Last summer I begged for therapy, I couldn’t take the depression any longer, they also then did not care. I’ve had suicidal thoughts my whole life and developed acute insomnia and suffer from bipolar disorder and severe anxiety.

I can't breathe. I feel like I'm suffocating.

I have a problem.

Anonymous


Dear Anonymous:

Having over controlling parents is not the end of the world. I know not what you wanted me to say. It does wreak havoc with your social life but hear me when I say you are 17 years old and it is TEMPORARY!

You will be 18 and then you can do as you please. Try to realize they do care or they would not be so controlling. Parents do not know everything in spite of what they tell you. Often they are just as scared inside about how to raise their children as you are to face your life. Their fear comes out in ways that are not always pleasant such as yours. HOWEVER, you can get through this and life will be different in a year. YOU NEED TO TRUST me on this because I had very controlling parents and now I am older with grown children and grandchildren and life just keeps getting better and better.

WHAT I do want to deal with is this, you said:
             I've had suicidal thoughts my whole life.
             developed acute insomnia
             suffer from bipolar disorder
             and severe anxiety.

             I can't breathe.
             I feel like I'm suffocating.
             I have a problem.

You by yourself can talk to a school counselor and they will help you get help. You do not need to suffer like this by yourself. There are hot line numbers where you can talk confidentially to others for free. (Talk to someone who listens and doesn't tell you what bad parents you have because that just doesn't help, besides as we have already established your parents only have control temporarily until you are an adult at 18).

SUICIDE HOT LINE:Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK

This hot line is available 24/7 and is CONFIDENTIAL.

If your parents don't care and haven't taken responsibility for your mental health how exactly do you know you suffer from bipolar disorder and severe anxiety? Regardless, the school counselor can help you get the help you need.

You also obviously have access to a computer. Google bipolar disorders and find a good online support group. Read up and post online to the groups. I know you are strong enough to get the help you need. Suicide is a permanent solution to a TEMPORARY situation. The world would not be a better place without you in it!

Here is another tip: HALT!
         Hungry
         Angry
         Lonely and
         Tired.
Two of these are physical and easy enough to fix, get a snack and take a nap. Lonely and angry talk to someone, on the phone, on the computer, write in a journal if that is the only choice you have! Find one of your old stuff animals and talk to it and no I am not kidding it helps.

You can make it as you are almost there to adulthood!

Please do start by calling the hot line. I have a feeling you are going to contribute greatly to the world. Do reach out for help yourself. You life is more in your control than you realize! You make choices to mind them or not mind them each time they put a limit on you. You have the power of your mind!

Best Wishes and you are in my prayers!

M Kay Keller