Saturday, January 21, 2012

My pinching 5 year old

My daughter is 5 and constantly pinches other kids. I think she is doing this to get their attention. She says it's because she's mad or doesn't know what to say to get kids to play with her. I tired giving her strategies to express herself, even telling her she should come to me for help if she doesn't know what to say or is frustrated. She says she will, but then forgets. I also think she is dyslexic, she writes backwards often unless I'm on top of her to write the correct way. I did some research online and I'm wondering if there is a connection between her pinching and dyslexia.

Any thoughts on this would be appreciated!

Heather

Dear Heather:

It sounds like she knows why she is pinching other children. I strongly encourage you to find her some children's books on expressing her feelings (the bookstore are full of these type of books now) and find a few feeling games to play with her. Another suggestion are some children's books on self esteem and socialization. Some of my favorites are by Jamie Lee Curtis. There is a little cute ones like "Hands are not for hitting, etc..."

If you google the word feelings, you will find a comprehensive list of words to describe each feeling. The more words she learns the better her ability to express herself will be. Show her by practicing them yourself and finding ways to put them in your daily routine. Modeling is of course the best teacher of all.

Then you need to get the message across to her that pinching is no better than hitting. It hurts! It is not permissible.

Be careful to not make excuses for her behavior like her learning disability or allow others to make allowances for her. She needs to believe she is just as capable as any other child.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller