I have two daughters-15 and 22, both seem to have a problem taking responsibility for their actions.
Neither gets into "trouble" (they are amazingly good kids) but they feel that certain rules/laws should not apply to them when they weren't "really" trying to break the rules/laws. One as simple as getting caught with her cell phone at school...they just don't seem to accept that no matter what the circumstances, when it gets down to it it is their action--using the cell phone--that comes with a consequence.
This behavior has not been a pattern at home, but just when they are sharing with me their thinking that it is totally unfair. I try to point out that it is their action--no matter what the circumstance that caused the consequence, but they do not see this at all!
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
These young women are no different than the rest of the human race. Remember they will only learn what you teach them. If you are not allowing them to feel the full weight of the consequences of their actions then they will not learn.
Your 22 year old is not a child at all. Is she on her own? Are you allowing her to be on her own? Letting go is the best teacher in life for them and for you.
M Kay Keller