Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My toddler grabs the toys of other Kids

Hi! I have a boy, 1 year 4 month kid who has a new habit of grabbing the toys of older kids. Usually other kids let him play but sometimes others complain and cry! I am sometimes embarrassed. is this normal?

Dear May:

Your son is 16 months old and you are asking if it is normal for him to grab toys. Yes, it is normal. Children at this age do not have social skills that older children have at their age and developmental level.

I urge you to read up on your son's developmental levels so you will know what is "normal" behavior and what is not. It will also help you with the feelings of embarrassment. A great website is www.talarias.org. Look for the developmental chart for parents. It is a handy tool to see where your child is in the process. Remember not to judge his progress rather look at the behaviors he will soon be displaying. All children progress at their own pace.

Lastly, learn to separate your sense of self from his behavior or you both will be in a rough place 10 years down the road. If you allow yourself to feel embarrassed each time you perceive him acting out then he will have full control over you by the time he is a teenager. Try to view his behavior as uniquely his behavior and you are the guide who helps him learn what he wants along his life path.

Thank you for writing and please feel free to come back anytime. If you would like to talk in person please see my number listed in the homepage!

Take care,

M Kay Keller

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