Thursday, December 29, 2011

My 13 month old is so clingy

Hello! I have a 13 month old, he has a great and wonderful personality. I am struggling because he is so clingy. I stay at home with him during the day and I think I give him plenty of attention. Sometimes he just whines because he doesn't get his way and will keep crying until he gets his way. Also, he wants me to hold him all the time and that is hard because I have so much to do around the house.

We go to the gym and he goes into the daycare room. He makes the old lady hold him the entire time. Its like he has no interest in other children. Sometimes he has no interest in his own toys and believe me he has plenty of learning and age appropriate toys. If I am in his room with him, he is okay, but if I leave he will follow me out and begin to whine. He hasn't always been like this. Sometimes he rather just stay with me whenever his daddy tries to hold or love on him. If you can give me any advice I will greatly appreciate it.

Thanks,
Amanda


Dear Amanda:

Each child is different and you child seems to need you more. Each child has a different personality. You might want to try slinging him if you don't already. Slings are great because they allow you to have him close for the closeness he is craving and yet you can have your hands free to do what you need to do as well.

Also make sure when you have one on one time with him that he has your full attention. Sometimes when we are busy and wanting to do other things we don't realize what is one on one time to us and what is one on one time to a child are terribly different. If your mind is on other things then you he will sense your emotional absence. Remember to keep eye contact and even deep breathe when you are holding him close (like yoga or meditative breathing). This will keep you focused and in the moment.

Also, it is okay for children at this age to fuss a little bit. I don't mean to not respond to him what I mean is you don't have to respond the second he cries. Maybe count to 30 at first and then in a few weeks count to 60 before your respond then in a another few weeks count to 90, etc.... This will allow him to know you will respond just not exactly when he wants you too. Eventually he will be pushing you away and you will once again long for these days.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller