Sunday, December 18, 2011

Bonding?

I have had guardianship of my grandson since Aug 16, 07, he was 18 months at the time. Is is possible for him to remember who his mother is? He never ask for her and doesn't seem bothered, on the rare occasion he spends time with her, once she leaves. (She has seen him less than 35 hrs. since Aug. 07) Also I am wondering if these rare visits could cause more harm than good.
Suzetta


Dear Suzetta:

Without knowing more about the circumstances of how you ended up with your grandson in your care it is hard to answer this question.

It sounds like your grandson is doing fine in your care. It is troublesome that he does not seem to miss his mother however, it maybe because he is with his grandmother. Children are very resilient. While his situation is not optimal or perfect he obviously has you and your heart or you would not be writing to me.

What children need is lots of love and stable relationships with caregivers who love them. If that person is you just keep your relationship with him stable, loving and nurturing and he will be okay.

As to whether or not the visits are good for him, you said he doesn't seem to be bothered by them so if he is not acting out after she leaves I wouldn't worry about the visits. Focus on the time you spend together. Make it count. If she is not acting out towards him when she is there all will be okay.

Children without parents are so fortunate to have grandparents who will take on the responsibility for raising them. Grandparents have a major impact on children's lives and they will benefit from your care and love greatly. He is a blessed little boy to have you worrying about him. Try to enjoy him rather than worrying.

Please feel free to post again anytime you have a concern. You can also call me to speak to me in person if that would be more helpful. Check out my homepage where my phone number is listed.

Sincerely,
M Kay Keller