Friday, October 14, 2011

Potty Trained 3-year old

Hello,

I have a daughter who just turned 3-yrs old end of November, she has been potty-trained since the beginning of 2007. She started wearing underwear around spring of 2007 and has been wonderful. She has an older sibling that is 5 1/2 years old, who by the way was fully potty-trained when he turned 3-yrs old and has never had an accident since then.

She went to my mother's house (who is by the way a fantastic involved grandma)to spend New Years Eve with her (she was there for about 2-3 days). My daughter began to pee on herself and my mother attributed it to missing home. But, when she returned home she continued doing it, not all the time, at times she would go to the bathroom with no incident.

I don't know how to handle the situation, I feel very frustrated with her and I want to understand why she is doing this. Please help me understand why she is doing this, I do speak to her and she does understand, she will once in awhile come to me and say "no pee in the underwear.....pee in the toilet" so I know it is registering. Your opinion is greatly appreciated.
Shelly
Dear Shelly:

Understanding the why isn't going to really make you feel any better. You mention both children being potty trained and when they were trained and not having an accident since then which gave me a sense that you have a schedule and possibly a sense of pride in your children for being potty trained on schedule.

You daughter may have accidents because she has regressed for one reason or another. I think if you just deal with the accidents without too much of a fuss she will get herself back on course. When a child has an accident and too much attention is focused on the accident they may actually increase their accidents.

She was trained before which means she can right herself quite easily. She is only 3 and often children have accidents up until they are 4 or 5 years of age. The good news is it won't last forever and the best advice is to ignore the accidents. If it bothers you to clean her up give her the clean panties and tell her to change herself. She can probably put her own undies on by now. Just remember not to shame her or make a fuss.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller