Sunday, October 16, 2011

Helping my 11 year old boy to deal with a girl he likes at school

My Boy is 11 and yesterday came to my bedroom telling me that he cannot sleep because he is disappointed with a school mate, a girl she likes so much but this girl has told him that she does not like him. For the past two months I have seen him exchanging messages in the mobile phones and I have told him before to enjoy his life by making friends with both girls and boys but not intimate friendships as I think he feels for this girl.

Yesterday I tried to explain that may be the girl is annoyed that my boy he is serious with their friendship rather than just a normal friendship that is why she has told him that she does not like her as a way to get rid of him or to stop his imagination. I do not know what to do more and how to help my boy cope with this kind of situation. Please help.

Answer: Dear Ruth:

Just listen and listen and listen some more. I have to say I have an issue with an 11 year old with a cell phone and being able to text message. I just don't think they need this much socialization at this age. Monitoring children on technology is crucial. I don't mean this as a criticism of your parenting, I know it seems to be the norm these days....just my opinion.

Really he will be fine, just resist the urge to give him advice and let him talk his way through it. As parents we often want to make them feel better. He can do this for himself by talking and you listening.

He is lucky to have a mom who cares so much!

M Kay Keller

Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Politeness

10                         10                            10 
Comment: Thank you Kay so much. I agree that I have been too loose to allow him to have a cell phone at his age. I appreciate your down to earth advice. I will be on top to ensure that I correct the situation and still help him to move on. Many thanks once again, Ruth.

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