Monday, October 31, 2011

14 Year Old Son and Friendships

Hi, Our 14 yr old son ( 9th grade ) does not appear to have any friends outside of school. He is active in sports, so he is around kids his own age and interests. He enjoys video games etc. He had friends in grade school that used to sleep over etc. It always appeared to us that he was ( is ) sociable and when kids used to come over he ( they ) had fun and got along.

When we ask if anyone is coming over to play video games etc. over the weekend, he always says they are busy etc. We always let him know to ask early in the week so they can make plans. Well, he is not getting invited over to other peoples houses and they are not coming over to his ( if indeed he is inviting them ) We see him interact with his team mates at sporting events and he appears as if he is "accepted" by team mates. Should we be concerned that he is not getting invited over to other kids houses etc.? Is there anything we can do to facilitate making friendships? It does not appear to bother him as much as it does my Wife and I and we are afraid that our continuous asking/reminding him about inviting kids over will cause more problems.

Concerned,

Scott
Dear Scott:
If your son's lack of a social life is not bothering him I suspect he maybe eventually be bothered by his parents worry about his lack of social life. He is 14 and doesn't need to be the life of the party yet. He may just be a quiet type and enjoy his own space. For now, just be grateful this is the only thing you are bothered by.

Please appreciate him for who he is. This is the greatest gift you can give your son who is not a problem to you.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller
Comment: Thank you for the feedback. We have read so many articles about the importance of friendships in a teenagers life, we were just a little worried. Thanks!!!