Saturday, October 8, 2011

1 year old - temper - screaming

I REALLY need help with this. Our 1 yr old daughter will scream (as if in intolerable pain) when she wants something - like to be picked up when I am making dinner or she wants Barney on the t.v. We have tried redirection - encouraging words etc. She has about 50 words already and understands them - she has no problem telling us "no" but doesn't understand that she cannot have something hot, or to wait a minute. We have even tried not responding to the behaviour at all - but she screams until she makes herself vomit. If you pick her up, or give her whatever she wants when she is screaming (with tears & sobbing, in seconds) - she immediately stops and smiles - it just "shuts off".

Do you have any recommendations?
Stacey
Dear Stacey:

You have to make up your mind whether or not you want her to run your life for the next 18 years or so.

If not, then you must ignore her screaming. I am sorry she makes herself throw up. Just clean it up and make sure she doesn't choke on it. However do not give her eye contact, nor speak to her directly, do not interact with her when she screams. Let her know you will talk to her when she uses her words or settles down. Then DO NOT respond to her screams.

You give her what she wants even one time and you are going to lose this battle of the wills. Reinforcing this type of acting out behavior by showing her attention or worse by giving in only serves to strengthen her behavior. This should frighten you!

Good luck!

M Kay Keller
Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Politeness 

10                         10                            10 
Comment: Thanks so much - when she pulled the "puking thing" I thought I'd better get some help - I really appreciate your quick & detailed response.