Friday, August 5, 2011

Shy 5 year old

Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Politeness 

10                         10                            10 

Question: Our 5 year old daughter is extremely shy. She won't talk to any grownups (aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc.) except me and my wife and her daycare providers.

An example..We went over to her aunt's house for Christmas. She would not talk to her aunt, or open up her gifts. She "clung" to my wife. This is common for her to do around everybody.

She will not talk or say "thank you"(for gifts) on the phone. I asks her why and she said she is afraid and/or uncomfortable. Her daycare (child development) teachers say she is "opening up" allot with the teachers and her siblings. She is normal (but a little shy) at daycare. She is developing fine.

I discussed this (shyness) with her pediatrician, and he did not seem too concerned about it. He said it was sometime normal. Not to worry. She does not have any friends except at daycare. She is "extremely normal and talkative around me and my wife.

What do you think of this situation? Is it normal? What is your opinion? Thanks for your time........


Answer: Dear Bob:

Regardless of what I think or what the doctor thinks, how is what you are doing working for you and your daughter? My point is you can't change how she interacts.

I think it is more about personality. There is an interesting website I refer people to about personality types. It is based upon the Myers-Briggs personality type indicators. Some people are just better socially with others one on one and in intimate situations. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with them it is all about preferences. Usually this is hard for people who are very social to understand. The site is

Be glad and grateful she loves to talk to her parents. This may change when she becomes a teenager. Try to separate her behavior from your behavior (sometimes parents are embarrassed when their children are shy).

Relax and all will be well. She is lucky to have a dad who is concerned about her and I trust you will all be fine!

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

The Sensitive Child (Challenging Child)

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