Sunday, August 14, 2011

my teenage daughter

Question: I am the mother of a beautiful 16 year old girl. Until she met her boyfriend her and I did everything together. We were very close. She shared everything with me. including her relationship with this boy when they first met.

Now she has been pulling away steadily. but I have noticed that this boy is controlling her. He tells her " oh don't tell your mom this or that" witch I know is pretty normal. Recently he went on vacation with his family. All she did the whole time he was gone was sit on the computer or wait for his call. He called one night and they started fighting, he said he was mad at her for not being mad at me for playing a joke on her.

This has me worried he tells her things like I don't trust you not to drink because your family drinks. (Which mind you is only at weddings or special occasions.) I told her she had to spend one night a week with me and her father and again they fought he said" she is changing they had there relationship figured out and your mom is interfering." I don't know what to do. I now spend a lot of time fighting with her.

I don't want to push her away as of now some lines of communication are open and I don't want to loose that.

Do you have any advise???
Laura


Answer: Dear Laura:

Stop fighting with her as this is not working for either of you. Your fear of losing her to this boy is pushing you both further apart.

Now focus your time and attention on the time you do spend together. Have fun, compliment her, etc...make your time so good together that her time spent with him will be noticeably unfun!

Best wishes!

M Kay Keller