Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Discipline

Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Politeness

10                         10                            10 
Comment: I can't thank you enough! The response was so quick too! I told the boys this morning we will be doing things differently from now on so there will be a lot less yelling around here. They seemed to be genuinely interested in cooperating at this point! This morning was a little slice of heaven!

Question: I need advice on how to discipline twin toddler preschool boys while I am in a wheelchair.The wheelchair happened after the birth of the boys. It is just me and my 80 year old mom with the boys. No other family.

I can't physically get the boys to sit in a naughty chair because they run away from it and I can't chase them-something they are entirely aware of. What am I to do?

My kids have no respect for us and the house is rapidly becoming a hollering hell that no one wants to live in!

Thanks

Cherylann


Answer: Dear Cherylann:

I am sure this is a great challenge for you. I strongly suggest you find parenting support groups online or in person which provide support to parent who have physical disabilities as they will be a great resource and have lots of ideas of what has worked for them.

In the meantime, realize that children are motivated by getting their needs met. They will meet their need however they can even if it is negative.

Figure out what they like. Make a list of things they like to do, toys the like to play with, TV shows they like to watch. Make an extensive list.

Then make sure they get something off the list when they are behaving appropriately. Only when they are behaving appropriately. Also make sure your expectations are realistic for preschool ages.

It is imperative you and these twins do not engage negatively, or via power struggles. Use your attention such as eye contact, body language etc to reinforce good behavior and ignore bad behavior. When they are acting out let them know you will speak with them when they are using their words and when they come to you behaving.

You need to rely heavily on this type of behavior modification to gain control over your household. Provide them with as many choices as you can live with, for instance, give them choices between foods (the ones you want them to have) give them choices between books to read, clothes to wear, shows or activities to see or do. Giving them choices will help them feel empowered and they will act out less.

You have your hands full with twins however if you take control of the situation in your mind you will find things settling down.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller