Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I need help!

Questioner: Daytona

Subject: I need help

Question: My daughter has adhd and she is 16 I have been taking her to counseling and she takes adderall daily but she has this attitude that she doesn't have to do anything.She gets angry when she gets suspended so she tries to get me to talk to the principle for her to stay at the school but she isn't doing anything she needs to do. grounding does not work.

Answer: Dear Daytona:

Children who are diagnosed with ADHD qualify under the Federal guidelines for specialized services. If she is acting out at school request an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan). She qualifies for whatever services it takes to get her through school at the same level of success as her peers.

As for discipline. Grounding is usually more of a punishment for parents. Rather than taking away. Make her earn her privileges with good behavior. Sometimes parents are tired and say yes to everything without making their child earn their privileges. A roof over her head, food on the table, clothes and an education are the rights of a child. TV, radio, computers, cell phones, games, designer anything are not rights, even time spent with friends should be earned not given freely.

She needs to learn about the logic of actions have consequences. I suggest doing so in a plan of positive reinforcement as it will get you where you both want to go. Whenever she needs to make a choice about something give her choices you can live with not ones you don't want her to choose. Try and give her many choices about whats for dinner etc....whenever you are getting good behavior from her. She needs to see she has the power to change her life and the interactions around her.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

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