Sunday, November 28, 2010

Teen Daughter won't talk to us

Questioner: Melanie Richards


Question:

My daughter and I argue alot,she is a great kid outside of the home and has really good grades.But she doesn't like it when myself or her stepfather asks her questions,she says asking how was your day at school?is an unreasonable question.Today I talked to her about it and she says ONLY our questions bother her and whats really sad is that her step dad is a truck driver and only sees her on the weekends and she has such an attitude when he talks to her,hes been around her since she was 3.I don't know what to do with her and when I told her I was looking for resources to find her a counselor to talk to she said "I'm not gonna talk to a stranger about my problems and if you make me go I will just sit there and not say a word..

please help



Melanie,


We congratulations you have a teenager in your house. She doesn't act otherwise according to your description other than being a clam with you and her stepfather so take a deep breath and congratulate yourself. She is doing well otherwise.

You could focus more on doing things with her, activities that she like to go and do and possibly not focus so intently on quizzing her. She may feel like she is being interrogated. Teens are often secretive as they are trying to pull away and be their own person.

The trick is to focus on getting more time with them and then they open up more naturally. If that isn't working don't worry about her threat to not talk in the therapists office. Therapists are trained to deal with those who will not talk. :)

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller
http://mkaykeller.blogspot.com/