Subject: Toddler Fears
Question: My 3 year toddler has developed some weird fears - e.g., the washing machine, red light on the TV - but the one that is worrying me more is that she is absolutely terrified of my friends 16 year son - I only have to say the mother is coming over for a coffee and she says NO - don't want her to come - I think it's because she associates her with the son - the boy is a lovely child. My toddler is weary of new people, especially men - should I be concerned and should I seek help for her?
Thanking you in advance for your prompt reply.
I don't think you should be concerned about her. I think you should allow her the space to let you know when she needs comfort and who she prefers to spend time with and who she doesn't prefer to be around. It doesn't matter to her who you like and don't like she is reacting to her own preferences.
I strongly encourage you to read two books. The first is by Gavin de Becker, The gift of fear and protecting the gift. The second is Unconditional Parenting.
M Kay Keller