Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Visitation for a 21 month old son

Questioner: Janet


Hello,

I have a 21 month old son. His father and I are not together, but we are still friends. He moved to another state at the beginning of the year. The father wants to take our son for 6 months out of the year. So far, this year he has seen him twice for a total of 8 or 9 days. I am worried because our son is with me all the time that the 6 month separation will not be good for him developmentally. When his father lived in the same state, he would see him every other weekend.

Thank you!


Dear Janet,


In my opinion no a 6 month separation from the mother at this age is not appropriate. I suggest you read the research and the suggestions from attachment parenting. They have court recommendations for visitation.

Separations at this age can trigger separation anxiety and distrust.

His father chose to move away from him and the consequence is that he sees his son less because of his choice. The child's best interest needs to come first over the father's desire to be with his child. He should have considered this before moving not afterwards. This does not indicate that he understands the needs of his own child.

Here is the website. http://attachmentparenting.org/parentingtopics/divorcecustodyblendedfamilies.php

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

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Comment: Thank you so much for your answer and for also providing the link with further information!