Sunday, October 31, 2010

My toddler is not adjusting to preschool

Questioner: Asa


Subject: Baby not settling in school.

Question: My 1.5 year old son has just started his pre-school, it might sound early but this is the age at which this school take kids and its good.My daughter also went to the same school when she was young and she settled in pretty well.

Now the problem is that he is not settling and its been 3 weeks now,the school says that they are doing all they can but its not really helping, he is a bit clingy and has become even more ever since school started...even though he has to be in school for an hour only.He cries all the while that he is in school.Its quite disturbing for me as i leave him wailing and when i pick him up he is the same and the school says he cries almost non stop.


I am also working but that only keeps me away from him for about 2-3 hours.

Please help.I would appreciate an early response as this is becoming quite miserable for me. Thanks in advance.


Dear Asa,

I know it is tough when you are working and having to leave a little one in someone else's care and they are not happy about this arrangement.

The good news is he just misses you.

What you can do to ease his distress is sending something with him that smells like you. I suggest you sleep with a blanket or a stuffed animal and then send it along with him. He needs to be able to remind himself that you are around. I would also suggest sending a picture of you with him.


In addition if you don't already try massaging him in the morning before you drop him off at his school. Maybe the caregivers could also implement massage for him. This would lower his stress hormones and increase his happy hormones.

A child at this age cannot understand time. Most children are able to grasp time when they are 6-8 years old. He just knows that you left and it seems like an entire summer to him each day that you are gone.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller