Friday, October 22, 2010

Introducing a nanny

Questioner: Boitumelo

Subject: introdusing a nannny @6 months

Question: i am a stay at home mom with a 6 months old daughter,she is very much attached to me,because i decided to further my studies, her dad decided to get a nanny for her so i can have time to study.But she does not want to be left with the nanny. she will cry her lungs out,so i need help.what can i do to assure her that she is safe with the nanny and how to teach her she wont be seeing me as she is used to. Help!!!

Answer: Dear Boitumelo:

This is not something you can do overnight. You need to take this one step at time. Spend sometime with your daughter and the nanny playing on the floor.

You know how attached she is to you and this is a really good thing. However, it is not natural for her to want to be separated from her so be patient with this process.

Spending time with her and increasing her time spent with the nanny will alleviate her 'stranger anxiety' and build up time she spends with the nanny.

After she has shined up to the Nanny (if she doesn't you may want to question why you selected this nanny!) then you can slowly start to pull away by getting up and moving around the room while she plays with the nanny by herself and moving on to stepping out of the room for a few minutes.

After she tolerates this you can increase the time spent out of the room.

Something you need to understand is when she is not with you she feels anxious because at the age of 6 months she cannot hold a picture of you in her mind. Maybe leave pictures of yourself around the room as well so she can find a picture of you when she wants to calm herself. Babies can tolerate separating from their mothers much better when they are closer to 2. Six months is a challenging time for a baby to let go of their primary caregiver. Be patient with you and her!

P.S. having the nanny give her a massage each day at the begriming of their time together may also increase her attachment to the nanny!

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

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