Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My teen is 20 year old?

Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Timeliness Politeness Nomination?
10                         10                            10               10               Yes
Comment: Thank you so much for taking the time to read. I sincerely appreciate your straightforward, constructive answers. This is very helpful to me as, unfortunately raising children has not been common sense stuff for me. Thanks also for the encouragement and positive feedback.

Questioner: Anonymous

Subject: should i ask my teen?

Question: Dear Kay, I have a teen of 20yrs female,she has a bf its been 2 yrs and a half,he lives across the street,his favorate hobby is cockfight he gives his life for it,spends more time with the hobby,when its time to visit my daughter he is always late,or just dosent come,he was given two days in a week to visit her,due to daughters studies,and his part time work(pizza hut).

In the beggining it used to be kisses and hugs, lots of candy.then all she would do is cry over the phone argurments,and now he barely comes,if so only two days in a month,and sometimes late. When he comes all he says to me and my husband is HI and bye when leaves.

As better saying he is antisocial. My question is should I ask her what is wrong,should I stay quiet?

The thing is she always changes the subject, I know he isn't the perfect guy, but at least have some qualities. Let me tell you that she has good grades in the Univ, she is on her 4th year, help me i am going crazy, help please and keep in touch, god bless. p.s., I also think that she is old enough to make her decisons,am i correct?

Answer: Dear Anonymous, First of all your teen is not a teen she is 20 years old and is in her 4th year of schooling. You are right in that she probably isn't with someone who is right for her, doesn't treat her decent or with respect, however you are also right in that she is old enough to make her own decisions.

Maybe you could just let her know you are there for her to talk to and that you are concerned that she doesn't realize she deserves to be with someone who knows how wonderful she is, this isn't likely to make her mad and then you need to be willing to listen and let her talk.

This is easier said than done for most of us parents as we are programmed to tell them what to do. However listening allows her to clear her thinking and most likely will allow her room to make better choices.

Best wishes!

M Kay Keller