Friday, September 3, 2010

My over protective parents

Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Timeliness Politeness
10                       10                           10            10
Comment: hey! thanks so much for the advice.i`l follow it. ..its just my fate i guess..i`l try dealing with it.thanks anyway!

Questioner: sally

Subject: my overprotective parents

Question: hello. I'm an 18yr old Muslim girl.the problem is this that my parents are extremely overprotective and clingy.they dont even let me hav friends who are from da opposite sex let alone have a boyfriend.but i hate this.i cant talk to any of them freely so i feel very lonely and parents think dat being a muslim takes away my right to date and have an affair or go out wid guys.its damn ridiculous wen all my life i have been taught to be devoid of prejudice against any religions and mix freely with people.its really becoming immposible to live with dem..but i dont even have any other option. id b highly grateful if u cud help me out.

Answer: Dear Sally, I don't know what to say. I hear that you are very frustrated and that the culture one is raised in has a huge impact on one's life. It sounds like you are very lonely. It is very hard becoming an adult in a foreign culture. I know that your parents are only trying to do what they believe is right for you however it must also be very confusing for you.

I want you to know that although parents seem very sure of themselves they are often very unsure if they are doing the right thing for their children. They are often just doing the best they can. They have spent the last 18 years focused on taking care of you and protecting you and often do not know how to ease up just because their child turns 18.

I often suggest you become the more mature person. Hear their fears. Reassure them that you know they love you, want the best for you and that you love them and will always love them too. That you know it is hard for them watching you become an adult and wanting the very best for you and thinking they know what is right for you. Let them know in an adult manner that you are very sure the way they raised you has been good and that you will make the best choices for yourself based upon the values they have given to you.

I just don't know what else to say to help you.

M Kay Keller