Friday, August 13, 2010

Teen's sudden drop in grades and other stuff...

Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Timeliness Politeness Nomination?
10                        10                           10           10            Yes
Comment: Thankyou very much for your advise.

 Questioner: Georgia

Subject: Sudden drop in grades and other stuff

Question: Hi- My daughter is 16 and a junior in H.S. Since elementary school grades have been very important to her. She has always tried very hard in her classes and gotten excellent grades. Her GPA last year was a 4.023.

This was not me pushing her either she was self motivated. The first quarter of this school year everything was going ok. She was struggling a little with the AP English teacher who was making them relearn how to do things in her way. Not a huge problem. Well I got the progress report for the second quarter and she was failing English, History, and math.

It took a couple of weeks to finally get ahold of the teachers and I guess she wasn't turning in any homework and failing tests. So all during the last quarter she basically lied to me every day when I asked her about her homework. Things have not improved much scince then.

I have started her in therapy but the therapist doesnt seem to see the same child I see. I know she isn't doing drugs or drinking for lack of opportunity and I have experience with those things and would recognize the symptoms.

She says she just didn't feel like it was worth all the trouble. Her goal in life was to go to Stanford and in a matter of 2.5 months all of that is gone. Help. Can you make any suggestions of what to try next? Do I try a diff. therapist? Deos this sound like deppression to you?

Answer: Dear Georgia: I am not sure what you mean by "her therapist doesn't see the same child I see." What is the therapist telling you specifically. As for you KNOWING she isn't doing drugs or drinking I need to remind you professional experience you may have is not necessarily OBJECTIVE when it comes to your own child.

Has she completed a substance abuse assessment? Not a urinalysis an assessment? Whatever is wrong right now I am sure your daughter getting back on track is worth more to you as a parent than the "dream" of her going to Stanford. You and she both have enough to deal with right now, let that go and maybe later you can revisit it, however for now it is one day at a time and keeping your priorities in good order.

Remember as you go through this to take care of yourself, physically, emotionally and spiritually as you are her best advocate and she needs you to be well taken care of first. Something is obviously going on with your daughter. Have you asked her and then listened, really listen with your heart and your heart will lead you to the problem quicker than any therapist or assessment.

Ask, Listen, Listen, Listen some more, then listen to your heart.


M Kay Keller