Monday, August 9, 2010

My 16 year old daughter moved out!

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Comment: THank you for your help and reassurance.Sincerely, Brenda

Subject: My 16 yr. old daughter moved out

Question: I just need someone to talk to. My daughter ran out mad...didn't know where she was for about 24 hours, now is living with my ex (in the same city). She will not talk to me, be with me...and I am having a really hard time understanding all this. It's like it happened overnight.


I've been to a counselor one time now and my daughter was to go today, but the time got messed up. I am a total wreck. My intellect tells me that it isn't me, but my heart is breaking. What should I do?

Answer: Dear Mary Anne, I am so sorry your are in pain. I am not sure from the information you shared what is going on as there is not enough detail here. Was this the first fight? I am sure it must not be. What were you arguing  about? What do you think is going on? What does you heart tell you?

Dealing with teenagers is difficult for most parents. We don't want to look at our babies as grown ups and take a good look at how they are practically adults. Many times we are confused by their actions and this is because they too are confused. Often they want to be treated as if they are adults before they are actually adults yet they really do miss being our little ones and having us be responsible.

A teens developmental task is to become seperate from us. It maybe that your daughter's not talking to you is her way of asserting to you she is a seperate individual and put some distance between you both so she can get a sense of who she is. Be patient and she will probably make a move to get in contact with you. If some times passes and she has not drop her a note or a call and let her know you are there for her and want to continue your relationship. Let her know you understand growing up is a difficult time and then remember when she does come to you to LISTEN, LISTEN and LISTEN again.

Sincerely,

M Kay Keller