Thursday, August 5, 2010

My 15 year old daughter is not talking to me.

Questioner: kari ann

Subject: girls

Question: My daughter is 15 and is the same age I was when I had her. We normally have a very open relationship but lately its not the same. She is on birth control cause she told me she was having sex.
I knew all the details of her life then. Now she ignores me and gives one word anwsers,also been staying out late.I'm not dumb I knw what she's doing out there, how do I get her to talk to me and see what's going on and how far she is going with everything.
Thanks

kariann ann

Answer: Dear Kari, Well first of all I suspect you need to become more comfortable with being the parent. It sounds like because of your own past you are trying to be too much her friend and not enough parent. She needs to not being going out so late as she is only 15. As for starting the conversation you have to take the lead and say something regardless of whether or not she responds. Tell her you are worried about her and that you need to hear she is doing okay. Tell her specifically what is worrying you by describing the behaviors you see and what they mean to you. Then listen to her, listen, listen and listen some more. When you do ask questions, ask open ended questions that don't allow for a yes or no response. Best wishes! M M. Kay Keller