Question: My 16yr old son is 6'7 height and weights approx 180. He is sometimes great in basketball and other times he looks as if he has nevered played before.
Recently he has been in a slump, his wants to quit basketball.He seems tired all the time and feels he cannot keep up. He has diffculty learning the plays. He states he is tired of it.
My husband deal is a healthy body healthy mind so he insist our children be in athletics. My son had shown no interest in any other sport but basketball.Being 6'7 at sixteen my husband thinks he should stay in.
But I can't tell if he is really talented or just tall because he is so inconsistent. Do I continue to strongly encourage him or let him quit. Or just back out all together and let my son sort it out?
Answer: Dear Anonymous:
Well I have two answers for you.
1st. Has your son had a physical lately to determine if something it up? You described him as being tired all the time and feels he cannot keep up. He maybe having a very real physical health problem. Then if not, ask your doctor to screen him for depression. It can be something as simple as not going to bed on time???
2nd. It does help if our children are taught to listen to their own voices rather than ours.....finding what he loves to do and then doing it will go a long way towards his motivation. Often as parents we make the mistake of reliving what we regret not accomplishing in our own lives through our children.
However, I know adults who were pushed and really resented living a life they did not choose then I know other adults who were grateful their parents pushed them because they had no motivation of their own. So this one is something you will need to answer by listening to your heart. What is it telling you?
If all else fails, ask your son what is wrong and what he wants. If he knows he will tell you and you will need to listen, quietly listen with your ears and your heart.
M Kay Keller