Subject: teen male sexual worries
Question: My teen is being bombarded with thoughts of being approached by gay males.
He is not clearly communicating what his thoughts are, but says he likes girls and is not gay. Which is why he says it is worrying him so much so that he is asking for counseling.
He said in his mind he keeps repeating "I like girls". He has always liked girls and had not been preoccupied with homosexuality before. However, he is very shy and has not been able to meet or get a girlfriend. He thinks everyone has a girl but him. I am at a loss as to how to help him with this issue.
He is the youngest of 3 boys -- the other boys are grown and on their own. So he's like an only child, his dad lives in another state.
Answer: Dear Anonymous,
Well something is happening and he wants counseling. I think he is trying to tell you gently that you can't fix this and he needs counseling. I suggest you let him know how much you love him and that no matter what the outcome you will always love him and then...let it go...let the counselor do the work. Mothers cannot fix everything inspite of what society tell us. Take a deep breath and release him.
M Kay Keller
Anonymous was quite upset with this response and rated the response very low. I responded with a follow up comment.
Considering how high my ratings have been consistently over the last 10 years, I suspect Anonymous did not like my response. However, it is not my job to tell you what you want to hear. Your son is dealing with his own sexual issues and asking for counseling is a sure sign he knows how to best deal with his issues. You should be proud as a mother that he is this capable of taking care of his own needs. You must have raised him right.
M Kay Keller