Monday, July 12, 2010

My 12 year old doesn't have friends, should I be concerned?

Questioner: Anna

Subject: Does not fit at school

Question: My son is almost 12 and he goes to the same international school since kindergarden. Since grade 5, last year, he used to come back home frustrated after school, but did not want to tell the reason, or discuss about school matters.

This year, in six grade, on the first week I noteced the same behavior, but this time he wanted to discuss and asked for help. He told me he does not have friends, and nobody seems to want to talk to him, he does not know how to aproach a friend because he does not feel he is a interesting kind of boy.

He cried and told me his life is not good because of that. He is aparently a very good boy to have this sort of problem. I don't know where this feeling come from.

Answer: Dear Anna, First of all it is major progress that he told you and can express himself to you. Take comfort in his coming to you. Now go to the library or bookstore and look for some books to read together. There are books to raise a boys self esteem, how to make friends, make sure all books are for his age level. In the mean time check and see if the school has a counseling group for him to attend for while if he is open to the idea. Tell him it will help him make friends.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

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