Thursday, July 1, 2010

Kids showing their private parts

Anonymous


Subject: kids showing their private parts

Question: I have 3 boys (13,11, and 7) We just received a phone call from a lady we work with letting us know that our 11 year old and our 7 year old showed her young daughter (4) their private areas. We are at a loss of what to do with them as we have had this problem several times before.

I've given them all THE TALK about the private areas and how only a few people should see them (PARENTS, DOCTORS, and THEMSELVES).

We also caught them with some girlie pictures from magazines on a few occastions as well but again talked to them and grounded them to their rooms and taken away things. I'm at a lost of what to do this time as I'm totally disgusted with their behavior and their decision to show a young girl their privates.

They have no reason on why they did it which makes matters worse. Your guidance would be appreciated.

Thanks for your help.



Answer: Dear Anonymous

Drop the disgust. Kids do things.

I would not shame them as this often increases the behavior in ways you don't want them to go.

I urge you, implore you to get books on topics about their bodies and girls bodies as it maybe nothing more the natural curiosity about their bodies.

Now I find myself wondering WHERE did they get the "girlie magazines" at their age. Someone provided those to them and it is inappropriate and illegal in most states to expose underage children to pornography which is what "girlie magazines" are in fact.

Next find out if they have had someone behave towards them as they are behaving. Children often act out what they have experienced. It is their way of telling us and trying to relate to the world in which they live.

Because this was something that happened between older children and a child of 4 this behavior concerns me more than if it was among same aged  children. Do get to a good qualified, experienced family counselor. One who understands child behavior.

Parenting is a challenge as you know!

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller