Question: i have a problem i always fight with my parents and its realy getting me down.
im an only child so i get alot of attention and i guess im a bit spoilt. i get in these major rows and i end up crying and
i dont know how to stop them. ive tried biting my toungue and trying to control my temper but
they still happen. they start as my parents just seem to agravate me,
they anoy me and i get so pissed off.
its happened again to day and ive baricaded myelf in my room and wont talk to them. i know it sounds childish
as im 16 but i cant help it, i dont know how else to deal.can you plz help? is there a way for me to stop this as they wont change?
thanks a lot.
Well the good news is you maybe expecting too much of yourself. As you say you are 16 however legally you are still a child. What is reality is you are nearly an adult and right now your hormones are going back and forth like a pendulum.
What I would suggest before you have discussions with your parents is to write things out on a piece of paper or if you have a computer type them out first. Write what you really want to say and then tear it up. Then write down what you need to say to them using I messages and also remember not to use YOU messages. Trying telling them how you feel rather than arguing with them.
Also try and remember something else, listening to your parents and hearing what they say doesn't necessarily mean you agree with them however, listening is a way of showing them respect and they will respect you more becuase you do listen to them. Sometimes we confuse listening to mean we have to obey them, listening is just about listening. Give it a good try without arguing back, just listen and listen some more.
Most people cannot have a fight if they are listening to one another and it only takes one person to do some listening.
Remember it isn't as important to be right as it is to just express your feelings. Then see what happens when you try this.
You must be more mature than you realize or what you have told me as to know "they won't change," is something people only realize when they are in the their 30's or 40's.
Feel free to write again and tell me how it goes!
M Kay Keller
Mary Kay's Life Coaching
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