Thursday, July 15, 2010

7 year old possessive

Knowledgeability 10; Clarity of Response 10; Timeliness 10; Politeness 10

Comment: Thank you so much for your suggestions. It really helped me a lot to understand the relationships. Thanks again!

Questioner: Priya

Subject: how to convince the child

Question: Hi,
I am a mother of 7 year old boy. I am very affectionate to him, right from his birth, only I take care of him, he will not sleep in the night without holding my hand. He loves me a lot, but now we are planning to have one more baby. Whenever I talk about the next baby, my kid's face changes, he says that I should not touch/kiss that baby and only his dad should do baby care.

Recently I went with my son for a b'day party. My neighbor lady was carrying her 11months old baby and seek my help to carry the baby for a few minutes. My son did not like me carrying that baby, and was non-stop asking me to leave the baby down. I didn't do that and was carrying the baby for some more time. Later, I saw my son slapping the baby. I am really worried after this incident.

Should I go for one more baby or not? How to convince my son for that?


Answer: Dear Priya,

I can understand your concern. For him to be 7 and think it is okay to hit a baby is not a good thing. Jealousy is understandable. I suggest you find some books on new babies and read them with him. Help him with his feelings. Make sure he has a vocabulary full of feeling words. If this has not happened previously get the books with the feeling faces and the feeling words to match and then work with him on identifying his feelings. Traditionally men are not taught too many feeling words and have trouble identifying those feelings.

As far as having another baby I would not allow his behavior to make these type of decisions for you. That is your decision. However, you will need to start setting boundaries. He needs to see that you are his mother for affection and care and concern he does not however control you. If you allow him to control you then you are setting him up for relationships with women that will not be healthy.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

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