Thursday, June 10, 2010

Tantrums, I want to be a good mom, how do I deal?

Knowledgeability 10;
Clarity of Response 10;
Timeliness 10;
Politeness 10

Comment: Thankyou so much your evidice will help me so much I really appreciate your time.

Questioner: KELLY

Subject: I need help with my almost three year old

Question: Hi M Kay Keller I am reaching you by this method because I am really concern with my son who well be 3 year in January. He is a really good boy but I am really concern on how good mother I am. I am a young and single mother and I want to be a good mother. My boy is really active and many times when i donot do what he wants he will do tempertantrums as throwing himself in the floor and starts crying really hard.

I really will want to know what to do I feel that my son controls me instead of me controlling him. He pretty muchh gets everything he wants by crying usually when we are out, I know people get annoyed when a kid crys specially like mine does so I give him want he wants so he stops the crying.

I have been wanting to do some activities inside the house with my son its fall and it is to cold to take him to the park. Please help me improve my motherhood.

Answer: Dear Kelly,

Being a good mom is not about how your child behaves. If you start this cycle he will be running your life in a bad way by the time he is a teenager.

He is throwing tantrums because it works for him. He throws a tantrum in public and you give him what he wants because you are worried about other people. He needs to come first not other people. Stop giving him what he wants. He only gets something if he uses his big boy voice and his big boy behavior.

Now the behavior will get worse before it gets better as he is use to responding to him the way he want you to. Once you start you cannot fail even once to not respond to him while he is throwing a tantrum. If someone comes up to you tell them you are sorry if he is disturbing them however it is important to not give him ANY attention while he is acting out. Do not allow him to hurt himself, others or to destroy things. Pick him up and put him in a safe place. If you are out put him in the car and go home. Right then and there. Do not however EVER give into him again or you start from ground zero each time you do.

Stop worrying about being a good mother and just do what needs to be done!

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

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