Friday, June 18, 2010


Knowledgeability 10; Clarity of Response 10; Timeliness 8; Politeness 10.

Comment: Dear M Key Keller, Thank you so much for your advice, I do believe that is what the problem is!! I gave my daughter one of my necklace's to wear and sprayed my perfume on her before going to school and that seemed to help calm her down. She said that it helped her to feel close to me while she was at school! Also, she WAS with me 24/7 before pre-school started but she is a very out going little girl and we just thought that she would not have a problem with this adjustment. I may look into having her go 2-3 days a week if it still continues. THANK YOU, Carol

Questioner: CAROL


Question: Hi ,I hope you can help me!! My 4 1/2 year old Daughter just started to have problems with going to pre-school, she was fine until 2 days ago and now she screams and crys when it is time to go to school. All that she tells me is that she misses mommy and does not like school anymore!
The teachers said that nothing has changed in school, and they don't know why she is acting like this. My big concern is that I may be traumatizing my daughter! I am a stay at home mom and I am always here for her when she comes home. There has been no changes in our lives that would suggest any problem there.

Thank you,

Answer: Dear Carol,

The good news is that your daughter is attached to you and misses you. The bad news is that it hurts.

I suggest giving her some article of clothing or a blanket that smells like you, a picture of you, things that she can touch or smell or see that will reassure her during her time away from you.

Remember that children do not have a sense of time. The are all about routines. Maybe some part of her daily routine has changed?

Hopefully she did not go from 24/7 of mom to 5 days a week of preschool? Separation needs to come slowly. Building up the trust.

Time to us adults moves very quickly. Time to children moves very slowly.

Even a 4 hour day can seem like forever to a 4 year old.

Also, I suggest looking for some books you can read to her. There are so many great children's books these days that deal with emotional needs and development. If you don't already practice infant massage try massaging her feet at night before she goes to bed. Anything to reduce her stress levels.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

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