Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Joint custody of a 3 year old



From: Anonymous


Subject: best custody idea for a 3 year old

Question: Right now im battle with my ex custody wise. Its not by choice , but I can't seem to get through to him.

We have shared custoy we switch every two weeks and I can't seem to get out of my head what the judge told me how this could cause problems for her in the long run ,


He chooses not to listen and I need to know how about going to changing the order. When she comes back from there she is more violent and talks back because she is allowed to do what ever she wants. So I really need to see how to have a healthy relationship with her dad but still get the stablity that she needs? and what is a good custody agreement for  a  child this young?


thank you so much for you time


Answer: I don't agree with joint custody of a 3 year old. They are too little to understand their sense of time is very different from that of an adult. I don't agree that it is in the best interest of the child to be separated from the mother during these years. Fathers rights are not more important than the needs of a child. The child is vulnerable and helpless to meet their own needs for safety and security.

Here is a website which provide directions for the courts and parents.
http://attachmentparenting.org/parentingtopics/divorcecustodyblendedfamilies.php
Attachment Parenting. org

I suggest in the meantime that you and your child keep a consistent routine when they are with you. Spend one on one time bonding to support the child's fears and their need for security. Get books to read to your child that are written for this age group on divorce.

Best Wishes

M Kay Keller