Saturday, April 17, 2010

21 month old is hitting!

Questioner: anou

Subject: 21 month old hitting

Question: Hi!i am a working mom of a 21 months old daughter.she is a very sweet child but seems she has a temper.She has a nanny at home.We dont hit her neither we say that we will hit her if she does something wrong.But now very often if we stop her for something or are stern with her, her immediate reaction is that she will hit whatever is before her.I am worried coz i dont want my child to be ill tempered. our general way of controlling is we call her name and say "no" in a calm but clear voice if still it persisits the voice may raise a bit.she gen stops at this.

Sometimes if she breaks her toys we do give her a time out followed by some explanation of why she was punished.some days back she came running and hit her toy and it broke, her father said in a loud voice"what u did" she got angry and again hit it and then she got a spanking n time out from me.She cries n calms herself.We do not console her after a time out.

Yesterday again she was spoiling the bed linen and my husband told a "no" in stern but calm voice.She started hitting the chair and said"mare" which means "hit u" in hindi.And we gave her a time out.
Your advise please.

Answer: Dear Anou, There are some great books out there. One of my favorites is one that explains "hands are not for hitting, feet are not for kicking...." Great little book to read to children to help their behavior. I suggest getting some and reading and acting it out with her.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller